Leather & Lark

Welcome back Smut Squad to Smut Syndicate and the continuation of the month of Brynne. Today we bring you book 2 in the ruinous love series, Leather & Lark. 

Spoilers ahead turn back now 

Live Laugh Mortal Trash

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Hola Smut Squad and welcome back to SMUT Syndicate.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

I am Charlie. And I'm Danielle. The month of Bryn continues with Book Two in the Ruinous Love Trilogy. Today we are covering a love triangle between a Batman cosplayer, a Ditzy ignorant folk singer, and the religious zealot. Oh, I did it. It's fine. Um, if you got leather and lark by Bryn Weaver from all of that, you're a genius.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Yeah. So if you're new here, we cover these books by giving a little bit of a play-by-play, our stupid little input. That way, if you don't have time for a reread, you could just give us a listen. Or if you're trying to decide if this is your vibe, we are a great place to get the feel for some of these books. Keep in mind that we graze over a lot of things. We graze over the nuances, we graze over a lot of extra additions in the story. So do not rob yourself the joy of reading these books.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yeah, and our first little shout out. Brynn is our Canadian queen. We covered a little bit of her background last episode. So today I just want to give a shout out to her socials. She is so good to her fans. She is always one to promote, repost, engage, which, as a little goblin fan, that means the literal world to us. And she's hilarious. I love the reels. She just has this like low-key humor to her. So if you are not following her, what's she even doing? What's she even doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Uh, second shout out, our narrators for the audiobook. We have Samantha Brentmore. She is our Lark Montague. God, I love her. Man, she is one of the most distinguishable female narrators, I think. Like I just when I hear her voice, I know that it's her. Um, it also may be because I've listened to at least like 30 of her books, but she is one of my absolute faves. And every time that I realize that she is the FMC, I I'm just fucking jazzed. Yeah, me too. Um, and then Eric Nolan as our Lachlan Kane. He is a bit newer on the scene. I've only encountered him in a few books, but he does the broody, growly, grunting, angsty man so well. So well. All right, into the guts now. Spoilers ahead, buckle up. First off, we meet Meadowlark, Lark Montague. She is the bestie of Sloan Sutherland, the Orb Weaver, and she is in the forest with fireworks strapped to her cheating boyfriend's dick.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Fireworks. Strapped to her boyfriend's dick. If this isn't the most accurate and perfect opening to a book, then I don't think one exists. Also, this is so Brain coded. Like, if I didn't know that this, if somebody handed me this book and was like, don't look at anything but this first chapter, I would know exactly who wrote it.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

100%.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Um, and realistically, like we've all had that one X that we've wanted to blow up at fireworks. So good.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

It really does. Yeah. Um, and then we begin to see a pattern with Lark. She is driving in her SUV and she runs a pedo off the road. And while his car is sinking into a lake, she yells, Don't hold your breath. Like, and because of obviously her little mishap, uh, she has to call in the cleaners and get help with the car that just sunk into the link. Whoopsie doodle.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Yeah. I also love that her stepdad is like her go-to phone call for this because I feel like my stepdad would straight up be the same guy. And in true Lark fashion, she's actually dressed up as Harley Quinn right now because it's Halloween. Um, so of course she's killing pedophiles in a Halloween costume.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

Which is also very fitting because they send budget back aka Lockley Kane, aka Rowan's older brother, aka my future husband, aka my mother-in-law to clean up the mess. And we get a hot fuzz reference because Bryn is the pop culture queen, and it's like there's no skid marks, and they both like Lark is losing it over the word skid marks.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Like, she is such a badass, she's killing pedophiles, running them off the road, dress as Harley Quinn, but she like can't hold it like together over the word skid mark. Holy shit, that's us.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

That's us. That's us. And I love it so much because even in our day-to-day like big girl jobs, when people say, even when I hear people go like doo-doo, I'm like, doo doo. Yeah, we're just so childish. He assumes that all of this happened because she was just being some dumb girl and drove someone off the road while she was texting. Lark pretends to be sad about the body, like, oh my god, why'd I do this? Oh, my bad bro. Like, but also they still think that this dead guy is innocent. Yeah. After the guy gets out of the water and the mess is cleaned up, uh, Lachlan's like, you know what? I'm also gonna deal with you. And he just picks her up, tosses her over his shoulder, kicks her into the trunk of his car. But Lark cannot handle dark clothes spaces.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

So like just get over it for this one time. Did you let him kidnap you? Did you hear his accent? Why are you Irish? He's Irish and Irish. Let him put you in the trunk of his car. I see no problem here.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Right. So after she kind of wigs out a little bit, she breaks out and takes off, which I also just the descriptors that Brendan gives us, I just love the mental pictures that are painted in this story and in all of her stories. Fast forward to one year later, this is the night the Butcher and Blackbird restaurant is opening. We learn that because of how Lachlan acted with Lark, it cost him a valuable contract and that he won't be able to get out from under Leander's thumb. Leander is Lachlan's boss. He runs a contract killer/slash cleaner team. He helped the Kane brothers when they were younger, and Lachlan killed his pops. So Lachlan watches Leander torture a drug dealer.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

By throwing fucking darts at him.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Yeah, yeah. And they make him a pizza, beer, and teeth smoothie, smoothie for Robbie the drug dealer, to drink.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Um, but he's not just like a drug dealer. He's a drug dealer that was making rainbow fentanyl that was being sold to children. So it's all valid. Force feeding him his own teeth feels right. Yeah, feels fitting. Also, Leander scares the fuck out of me. She is such a creepy, like manipulative little creature, but I can't visualize him as a human man. And I don't know if it's because of like the way he sounds in the audiobook. He doesn't remind me of like a human person. No, he is a fucking creature, like a creepy goblin or something.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Yeah, and it's also it's it's really he's a very good side character because he's not necessarily painted as the bad guy. Like he is a bad guy, but he is not our villain. He's just this fucked up evil guy that they have to deal with, right? Yeah, 100%. Um, Lachlan wants to get out of this business. Obviously, it's horrible, but he also he just wants to make high-quality handcrafted leather goods.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah, okay. He's just got too much killing and cleaning to deal with, just needs a little bit of a break so that he can make some collars.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yeah.

unknown 7:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

100%. Um, later on at Sloan and Rowan's apartment, Lark or Lachlan sees Lark for the first time because the last time she had makeup on, he wasn't wearing his glasses, four eyes. And this is my jam. When a man is stopped breathless from seeing a woman, because when I stop a man in his tracks and leave him breathless, it's from me doing unhinged shit.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Like sidekicks in the forest, the most inappropriate times. The conversation that they have in this chapter, also, like we get just enough of everyone to kind of have an idea of who they are, but it feels really organic the way it's written because Bryn is a fucking genius.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

She is a genius, and they're fucking banter. It just hits from the first moment that they see each other. Like Lachlan is so smooth and witty, and they kiss, Lachlan growls, and Lark recognizes his voice as budget Batman. Because he's fucking Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

It's such a stupidly specific tick that this look like it's it's I hate it, but I also love it.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

But also he's Irish. How many Irish guys are you meeting? Not a girl. That's my problem.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

I need to I need to meet at least one.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

That's it. At least one. Yes, with this stupid tick. I would love it.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Yeah. So even after she like realizes, oh my god, you're that fucked who threw me in the trunk of that car. She is still like laying down the law because she's not gonna let this ruin Solana Rowan's night. She is a literal angel. She is such a girl's girl. She is the ultimate best friend. Yes. She's like, her whole world was just like fucking turned upside down because she was making it with a guy that basically tried to kidnap her. Yeah. And she's like, okay, you just have to like be chill about it because it's my best friend's fucking night.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

Yes. And we get like a POV of someone watching Sloan and Rowan, and now his attention is being turned towards Lark and Lachlan.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

It's actually her attention because it's me. Because I just want to be part of this friend group so bad.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

I am the lurker in the Well, you did say that you wanted to be the forest phantom.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

It's true. So the first time that I read this book, the phantom bothered me so much because I needed to know who he was. And his monologue of like preaching, it's like very biblical. The eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, the righteous hand of God bullshit has never made me want to dick punch somebody so badly in my life.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

But again, I love these pop culture references. And like Britt gives it to us all the time. Because if you've ever watched the movie Seven, the Phantom reminds me of the Kevin Spacey character. He's just such a well-written bad dude.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

Like you just hate him, but he's ugh. So flash forward another year, every 40 days, someone in Lark's family is being murdered.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

It's not funny, but it's so funny. Like I just, okay, the 39th day, why aren't they all just like gathering together and nobody leave the safe room? Right? Well, by the second time, like the second that someone noticed a pattern, I'd be like, okay. It's happening often enough that they've noticed there's a pattern. This isn't once or twice. Every 39 days, go lock yourselves up.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Right. Pretend like you're a freaking werewolf and chain yourself somewhere. You know? Like, come on, guys.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

So Lark's stepdad and mom think that it's Lachlan, and her family has the Kane brothers already on their radar.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Which is hot and Irish. Yeah, of course. Right. They're on my radar too, and they don't even exist. Her auntie Ethel, which is one of the most badass side characters ever, thinks that Lark should marry Lachlan. Family matters to her parents, and she thinks that if she marries Lachlan, it will save his life and Rowan's life and Sloane's life. And we have a marriage of convenience, folks. I didn't even realize it was gonna happen, and it just came out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Yeah, it does. It just side swipes you. Yes, I love it so much. You're right though. Like Auntie Ethel is probably one of my favorites. She is such a fun character. She reminds me so much of like my grandmother. Um, she is also a mastermind. So she invited Lark over to overhear the conversation about the canes. To like put this idea in. She's planting the seed already.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Yeah. Love her so much. Then we get Rowan and Sloane's wedding. Fucking. Yes. I just, when authors rob us of weddings, why you do that to me? Because they want you to be unhappy. I have so little. Just give me weddings. Even if it's people who I don't even know, even if they're just walking through a wedding and there's a wedding going on at the side, just describe to me how much he loved her, and I'll just die. Um, so Lachlan walks Sloan down the aisle and Rowan is ball length.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

As he should be, because he's perfect and I look beautiful on our wedding day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

And also, I like cried at this. Like Rowan takes Sloan's face in his hands and he just stares into her eyes and lets her know that this is like a monumental moment in his mind.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Like, yeah, I love it. So good. I also love that Sloan threatens Lachlan that if he doesn't dance with a maid of honor, which is Lark, uh, she will take one of his eyes. And Lachlan and Sloan's relationship is so sweet. He is such a like shithead big brother to her, but you can tell that he already like loves her and she's very much part of their family already.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Yes. And of course, like, so they have to dance together because he doesn't want to lose like an eye. Fair.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

Right? Like, of course. I also think that this is the moment of like this is the moment when Lark tells Lachlan she can help him retire, but he will have to help her find out who is killing her family members every 40 fucking days, and he has to marry her. This might be my favorite trope. Like, I love a marriage of convenience that ends with real downtown love. Oh and this is it for me.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Yeah, yeah. Especially because you don't get it in dark romance, like you do in mafia romance.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

But you know how I feel about those.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Yeah, I feel bad about those. I will change your mind. I've got so many. You will try to continue to try because I feel like I have got some that will that will change your opinions. I want to try at least. Um and so after the wedding, we fast forward to like they go and get married, but Lark is taking out another bad guy, and she epoxy resins him into a coffee table. Street justice is my favorite trope. I've changed my mind. Street justice is my favorite trope.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Could you imagine getting murdered and then being resined into a coffee table? Yeah, yeah. You're getting like it's that's gonna be in my will, actually. So you're gonna have a lot of you should start practicing your resin skills. Yeah. Because you're gonna have a big job to do. Well, the good thing is I don't have a coffee table, so you know. I want to be like resined so that I'm still shaped like a human, but like poseable and now really stiff. And I want to be like, you know, those tables from like the 80s and 90s where there's like an animal holding up like a sheet of glass. I want that to be me, but I'm in like child's pose or like what's the other one? Happy baby. Oh my god. I just like happy baby you into a coffee table. Into a coffee table, and then you can just put like a nice little sheet of glass on top, and you can stare lovingly into my eyes for the rest of time. Okay, well, you better smile when you die because if you scary space, that's okay, girl.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

You're taking a corrupt resume. Resin me.

unknown 16:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

I'm scared.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

But also, I think people are gonna want to come hang out at my house a lot more.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

It'll be a really good statement piece for you. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

This is a great icebreaker. You know what? I like it. What the fuck are you doing? Oh, that's actually my friend's daddy. That's my bestie. You met Danielle, didn't you? Yeah, that's her. Right there. Jesus. Now we could be together forever. Forever.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Yeah. Uh-huh. It's uh it's gonna get wild. So Lark, speaking of wild, is the fucking poster child of Wild Childs. Yeah. Her crafting hobby involving her victims is diabolical.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Well, it's also really interesting because we realize that Sloane doesn't know about Lark's hobby. Yeah. Like they're both serial killers, but they just don't discuss it. What do you guys discuss when you're hanging out?

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Like Sloan's with Rowan. They discuss a lot. Okay, yeah. That's true. In detail. That's true. That's true. Okay, I take that back.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

I was confused. My bad. My bad.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Um Yeah, so Sloane is drilling Lark about marrying Loughlin because Lark straight up told her that she fucking hated this guy like a couple days ago. And now like Sloan threatening to take one of Loughlin's eyes if he even hurts her. Is like Yeah, that's how it should be. Your best friend should be threatening to poke out your other half's eyeballs if they're garbage to you. But also, I couldn't imagine you coming to me and being like, I fucking hate this guy, and then next week being like, so we're getting married, and me just being like, Okay, it's weird, but I'll allow it.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

I wouldn't I would never. No, there would be more than just a little sit-down chit-chat. Yeah. But they're going down to the courthouse to get married. Of course. And Auntie Ethel somehow is just at the courthouse, even though no one invited her. Yes. And I want to be this kind of old lady. You just know. Hell yeah. It's working already. Just like in the know. You're just like butting into like other people's shit. Like I love her so much. Yeah. It's honestly so great. Um, so Lachlan moves in with Lark, and she needs help moving a coffee table.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Yeah. But not just any coffee table. She was sanding this coffee table because she's got tools. She's a crafty girl. And this is the table with the dead guy in it. So she accidentally sands part of the dead guy in the table, and they're like moving this table, and he's like, What the fuck is this smell? And she blames the like rotting corpse smell on her dog parting, which is so funny. Um, so then she just like cures a little bit of more like resin over top of this dead guy so that it's not like it's rotting body all the time.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Which okay, interesting. So they move the coffee table, they get stuck in the elevator of her like old ass apartment building. Lark starts to panic, and um, Lachlan realizes like what he did to her by putting her in the trunk of the car. So we're already seeing like some growth from him. Like we love it.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Also, her panic attack in the elevator is just so real because she is this like badass bitch, but she can't be in a confined space. And Lachlan is like easing over to her, and Bentley, which is her dog, he like refuses to leave her because he's a boy dog with a girl mom, and that's just kind of the way it goes. I'll be uh so Bentley's like lewd to her, and if Bryn does anything really fucking well, it's like writes an animal sidekick.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

She has one in every book, and it's not like the whole book revolves around them, but they're in there enough that you're like, yep, this is also my dog. Um Lachlan's like dropping his nickname for her into this conversation. I think this is the first time we get this nickname in the book. I can't remember. Um, but he calls her Duchess. And I love it. It's so good. I love it. I love the big thing. I don't know how I felt about it the first time. No, I love it. So it was like, I don't know if this is weird to me, but then it was like, no, this is exactly what it should be. Um it's good. He is also like so moody, so broody. I fucking love him as a brother. I love him as a brother. He's my brother. But they finally get out of this fucking elevator. He makes her dinner, but she doesn't want to eat, and she's like later seen crying and playing guitar, and he doesn't want to disturb her while she sings like this sequence of numbers over and over. She's a little bit weird, and I love that about her.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

Well, and I love too that okay, so she is like very not happy right now. So instead of Lachlan just be like, I don't know, she'll fucking figure it out. He calls Sloan up and is like, Hi, yeah, can you explain like what is up with like Lark? And she's such a bestie that she like basically tells him, like, oh, you should ask her yourself and also get fucked. Yeah. Which love it. And she tells him to read a romance book. Which and she's like, it's basically a guide. And honestly, this is the best advice for any man. Any man. Find out the books that your girl is reading, go read them and take some tips from them. Like, we want so little. If you would do like a third, an eighth, a twentieth of the shit that's in there, you would be smooth sailing. Like, we're we're not even talking about like the spice, but just the like general way. Like, oh, he cooks her breakfast. Exactly. He opens up the door for her. Oh my God. Like the most basic shit. You want a guide? Stop reading the stupid self-help books. Go read a romance book. 100%. Read it and just highlight like five things. Try one.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Your girlfriend's probably already got it highlighted. Read those parts. Right? Just read the stuff it's highlighted and you're in. You're in. Laklin also realizes that maybe he is kind of an asshat after all. Um, so he arranges lunch for Lark and him, but then asks if Sloane and Roan will also go so that Lark is more comfortable. And he is like, he's so fucking gooey on the inside. But like it's it's so cute. And some really random like such a thug. And I love that.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

Right? Some random chick that Lachlan knows shows up, and when she leaves, Lark follows after her. Rowan and Sloan explain to Lachlan that, like, yo, Lark has an anger streak, and she may have murdered some peeps, and they're like, huh? Like, you should go after her, just a FYI.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Which is so cute because, like, I know we talked about this at the beginning, how like Sloan doesn't actually know what Lark's extracurriculars are. Yes. But she has an idea. She's not fucking dumb. She's the orb weaver. Yeah. Yeah. So Lachlan introducing Lark as his wife, and that stupid hoe bitch, Claire, literally laughing in their face before making some like passive aggressive, yeah, we can catch a properly later comment. Girl. I'd be chasing that bitch down and cutting her too if Lachlan Kane was my pretend husband.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

Yes. Well, and then we find out that Lark was chasing her down because she was gonna slice her face. And she thinks that Claire is the reason why Lachlan was so pissed the night that he had to pull her out of the river when she crashed her SUV because he was kind of a dick to her. He was like pissed that he had to leave a Halloween party that night. And it actually he explains that no, Claire was with my brother Fion, and that's the bitch who broke his heart. And I had to leave Fionn that night, not Claire. Fuck Claire.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Fuck Claire. So Fionn was actually ready to propose to Claire. And when he did, she broke up with him, which is why Fionn moved so far away. And learning my family. Yeah. Lark literally runs away from that conversation, which is something I wish I could do like 10 times a day because she's just like telling her the story. She's like, okay, gotta go by. And then like I just picture her like track sprinting away.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

She's a runner, she's a track stop.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

Yeah. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

And so Lachlan comes back to the house. He's like looking through the apartment, trying to find out what Lark is hiding.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Yeah, he's he's down bad.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Yeah, he's down bad for her, but also like Sloan and Rowan have kind of gotten in his head like, yeah, she she fucking kills people. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. And he finds her craft project. So these are trophies that Lark has kept from the men that she has given back to the earth. And my personal favorite is the snow globe with a severed finger in it.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Yeah, honestly, if someone would like to make me one of those, I would love to add it to my collection of weird shit. I feel like the wet specimens I have, it's just not enough. I need a severed human finger and a snowboard.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Well, yeah. He finds all of this behind her Constantine poster. He's actually been paying so much attention to her, but like is quiet about it. Yes. Um when he confronts her about the box of prizes, she just tries to dismiss it. But he's budget Batman. He's very aware of what these crafts are made of. He's not stupid. He's a leather worker, so he also does crafts. He knows.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

And he knew right away that the maracas he found were actually made of human skin, and he crushes one and there's a bunch of human teeth that fall out of it. That's so nice. She's just and she's just, yeah, okay. I know that's there. What are you doing in my personal business? Yeah. Why'd you take that poster off the wall? Right?

SPEAKER_02 25:59

So we find out that she has deleted uh maybe 10 people.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

So yeah, but she just dismisses the whole conversation about multiple deletes and just carries on with her evening as if they didn't have this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Right. And he's like, Well, why did you like share this with me instead of like Sloan or Rowan? He's like, Well, we already don't like me, so what does it matter? Like, it's sad.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

It is sad. But he lets her leave after she drops all of this shit on him. Yeah, it's I don't know why.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Like, bro, just tell her that it's okay and that you'll kill people with her. Support her with her crafts. Yes. Um, but they are going to meet Lark's family. Yeah. Because they are kind of like integral to this whole him retiring thing.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Right. Remember, they thought that it was the canes that were up in the middle of the room.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

And we're killing them every 40 days. So I hope you meet them on the 40th day.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Like, what are you doing on Friday?

SPEAKER_02 27:00

That day's not good for us.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

It's not good for us. Lark fights for Lachlan during this brunch, and even correcting her dad when he calls her by her Montague last name, Lark took Lachlan's last name, which is something she said that she would never ever do after her father's death. And that girl hits you right in the feelings, dude.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Yeah. Yeah. It punches me right in the tit, and it just like, mmm, it makes me so sad. So now that they have kind of worked out some shit with her family, they're gonna go meet Leander because both sides of Lark's family have agreed to work with Leander. So, like her one side, the like stepfather side, they're kind of like they do like shifty kind of mafia sounding stuff, and he uses them for their cleanup crews, murder jobs. Um, in exchange, they're going to give up access to his database, blah, blah, blah. They're look they're trying to figure out who's killing the family. And Auntie Ethel's side is in the muffin business, which they say it's a lot more cutthroat of a business than you realize. People will cut a bitch with some muffins. Yes. And Auntie Ethel, being the sweetheart that she is, makes some special muffins.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Yeah, but she tells them don't taste test those muffins. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

And they're like, yeah, okay, cool. Thanks. Those muffins were drugged. Because who the hell put the muffins in the freezer? Like, yeah, it's oh fucking idiots. This is what, how many times have I said it? Do not eat food that other people prepare. Correct. You don't know what's in there.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

But also, the fucking balls on you to drug this creature. He's not a human being. Leander is a creature. Yes. And like your first time meeting him, you drug him. Couldn't be me. I am too afraid.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

Also, has nobody like, did Lachlan not give her any FYIs? Absolutely not. Hey, did you know the last time I was at his house we had like pizza, beer, and teeth smoothies?

SPEAKER_01 29:07

So, like there's no way. He already knows that, or sorry, he thinks that she fucking hates his guts. If he's telling her like the actual shit that he's helping Leander with, then she he's probably like, no, she'll actually hate me. And at this point, I feel like he is already big time in love. And he's like, I have to preserve all of her.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

He was in love the first time that he saw her, when he was like, Who is she doing high kicks over there? Like the first time that she took his fucking breath away, he was like, I'm in. Yes. And yeah, bro, me too. I know. So fast forward a couple of days, weeks, whatever, Lachlan picks her up and takes her to a cabin.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

And he like forewarns her, like, you don't need to do this. You can back out, you can leave at any time. Which, like, I'd be like, What are we doing? No questions were asked. He's just like, Yeah, if you don't want to do this, like, let me know. And she's like, Yeah, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

I don't even let my husband take a different way home. I'm like, why are you going this way? Where are we going? It's fucking weird. But it's weird. Yeah. People are too trusting.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

He walks her like up to this cabin and she sees who he has tied up in there.

SPEAKER_02 30:14

It's the headmaster of the school that Leather and Lark went to. Which that's nice. It's a nice kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

But leather. Leather's her friend. Leather and Lark. Oh. Her best friend Leather. Leather lady.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

That Lark and Sloan went to. I didn't even hear it. I didn't even realize that I didn't. I'm so into this book that I didn't even realize that I'm saying different words. So that's good. Dr.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Campbell is tied up in this cabin and it's good.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

It's good.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

So Leather and Lark approaches, though. Lark approaches him and like Yeah, Lachlan tells him he's there for vengeance.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

And he's like, Christ fucking Jesus, why is it so hot? Lark strolls in and just gets straight to work.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Like because this, so basically, who this guy is, and we learned this in a little bit of backstory of this and a little bit of backstory of Butcher and Blackbird, just quick little recap. When they went to this private school together, there was a teacher that was doing naughty naughty things to Sloane. Nope, to Lark. To Lark. And Sloane found Lark when she was trying to fix her uniform after these naughty things had been done to her. And she admits to Sloan everything that had happened to her. And the next day Sloan killed him. But obviously, Dr. Campbell, he was like the headmaster of the school. He knew that this kind of shit was going on, and he was like, Yeah, but I'm not doing it. So, like, kind of.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

But you also did nothing.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

But you did nothing.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

So you're a piece of shit. Sews his mouth shut, which he deserves. And then shoots him in the head. So I feel like it's a really fitting death for him. So Connor, which is Lachlan's kill co-worker, uh, provides some sneaky information about large amounts of money being sent from accounts of a club owner every month, and that it may be related to the murder of Lark's family because it kind of lines up with this like killing date of every 40 days.

SPEAKER_02 32:27

Yes. And so she leaves. She's like, okay, well, you know, I kind of That's enough murder for me for the night. Yeah. I don't want to make a beautiful craft out of this man. Yeah. And she leaves, and then Lachlan finishes him off, which, yay, that's nice. Thanks. A few days later, there's this weird guy in Lachlan's leather store, and he's just giving off these super fucking creepy vibes.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

So we finally meet the phantom. Yes. Abe Midas. He's looking at the tools and talking about his granddaddy and fucking speaking in riddles. And Lark shows up and Abe immediately introduces himself, but he's like this creepy fucking little weirdo, and he asks for some hymn lyrics added to the saddle that he brought to have Lachlan work on.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

I hate it so much.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Like he knows that he's allowed to say no, right? Like that's his business. You could say no, get the fuck out of my store.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Because that's the appropriate response. You're giving me some mad, creepy vibes, and you're like being all weird with my wife. Like, why don't you get the hell out of here? She like shows up and is like nice and like placating to him, so then he wanders off. They go to leave. Lark gets into the car, and as soon as the car is like started up, Lachlan has an audiobook playing in the car. Okay, so we took Sloane's advice. Good. And the audiobook is Death's Obsession by Vena St. Graves, which I love this book. Yeah. It is about a girl being stalked by the Grim Reaper.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

I also really love that this was his introduction into dark romance because it's just some like casual, casual ass play on full volume, and she locks him out of the car just to embarrass him, like cranks it. Yeah, which uh yes, marriage.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Yes, marriage. That's what it is. That is. Lachlan has been nice enough to make her this like leather harness with gold stars because she gives out gold stars to people every time that they it's kind of like training her friends. Um but she gives them gold stars every time that they do something good, and so he has made her this leather harness with these metallic gold stars, and each star has a memory of time that they had together.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Like, bro. Come on, a man that could dress me in leather harnesses that he makes by hand and remembers what he was thinking of for each detail that he put into it.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

Come on. It's good, it's not real, and that's the problem. Yeah, I know. I know, it's sad. Um, so she also gives him a gift and is like, you can't open it until later.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

Yeah, she has a show tonight and she's going to be on stage performing, and she tells him, I'll give you the bat signal, which is so fucking cute.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

She sings a song that talks about forgiveness and about wanting Lachlan.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

And the song she wrote is called Ruinous Love! It's so clever. It's so fucking clever. And it's about how she feels for Lachlan and that she forgives him. So basically, it's fucking time. Because they said he told her, I'm not doing anything until I have your forgiveness.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

And she forgives him, and your girl wants the onions. So give her the onions. Obviously, he's gonna give her the onions. And I love that Bryn books always have so much plot that you don't even realize that they didn't bang until you're halfway through the book. Yeah. Like it every time, every time you read one of her books, you don't realize that you're like, oh, oh, they're banging. Oh fuck, I forgot that this was like a spicy. There's romance in this. Okay. There's like there's smut. There's smut in this book, and we only have 30% left, but the smut is good. It's really the 40 days are up. Another person close to Lark has been killed.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Yeah, so Stan Tromblay is dead. Poor guy. And we get RIP Stan, we get another phantom point of view. In this, he says that he delivered Stan Tromblay to God two weeks ago. He is so fucking lame. Like, I hate this guy. I hate him.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

And now this fucking jack off is in Aunt Ethel's room.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

No! Like, not Auntie Ethel. You can't you take your filthy fucking hands off of her. Not my Auntie Ethel. She just wants to make muffins. So she's the Muffet man. He gives her basically the spiel, like, this is it, this is the end of the road, I'm gonna kill you. And she's like, I do have some regrets. I regret not have having stolen Bob Foster's Bonoffee recipe. I regret not going home with Spencer Jones after Marcy's party when I was 23. Jenny Bright took him home and said that he ate her ass six weeks a Sunday, and I wouldn't shut up about it at the country club for a month. She is fucking hilarious. She's provoking this creepy weirdo while she is like being killed. And I actually love that for her. She knows, like, she's accepted it, so she's just gonna go out with a fucking bang.

SPEAKER_02 37:31

Well, and the nice thing is like her character is already quite old. She has cancer, she's in the hospital. She's like, I lived a good full life. Like, yeah, I didn't want to go, but like, if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go as a fucking champ. Like, this guy could suck my big one. Yes. And she really just gives it to him. And you know what? I gotta start writing these lines because I want to go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

She is a fucking heathen. And she knows. A man of God, because he's fucking preaching at her while he kills her. And she's like, well, let me tell you. Say that to anyone. And they're like, could you imagine being Brittany while writing this scene, though? And just like patting yourself on the back for that because that's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

I don't know how true this is or what, but I believe that Britt has quite religious parents. And I don't know if they fully have read or enjoyed the works that she has made because I've seen her post a few reels that kind of talks about like how her super religious parents are gonna get to see Butcher and Blackbird on the big screen. And I would pay so much money. I hope and pray and everything that she films their reaction.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

It's gonna be like the equivalent of my mom finding out about our podcast because she heard it. Yeah, and then my life was over.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

And it just feels so great. It's so relatable. I love it. So it turns out he was getting revenge for his brother, his brother Harvey Meade. So the fourth phantom that they wanted to that in the annual August showdown was like the winning prize. He is the brother of the one that Sloane scared to death with his mummified mother.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Ethel also tells him before she dies, if you touch my lark, he will kill you. Yeah. And pieces are now in place because she knew shit was gonna go down, and she had to make sure that Lark was protected. And who better to do it than fucking budget batman himself?

SPEAKER_02 39:43

Hell yeah. And he, of course, kills the ant with a needle full of drugs. So R.I.P. to Aunt Ethel. Um Lark is hanging out with Rose, and this is our opening for book three. Lark goes home and her mom calls and tells her about Aunt Ethel's passing. Obviously, nobody knew that the Forest Phantom was like chilling in there with her. And she calls Lachlan to let him know, and he's like, Yes, okay, I will meet you at the hospital. And then he tells Lark that he loves her and she says it back. Yeah. She's in love with her husband. She's in love with her husband of convenience.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

Finally happened. Girl, me too.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Yeah. Me too, girl. Me too. It just feels so good. So it's about to get real bad, though.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

It's about to get real bad because Brent doesn't want me to be happy. Correct. Back at her house. Bentley is barking and losing a shit, and fucking Abe is in her living room. And she's there with a dog because she hasn't left yet, and he fucking stabs her with a needle. Yeah. Bentley is protecting her with his fucking life.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Yeah, because we don't deserve dogs.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

True. Very true. Lachlan is at the hospital waiting for Lark, and she's not there. Neither is her stuff. And her parents chalk it up to being nothing, but her husband, who she loves. Because they love each other. He's like, no, something is seriously wrong. Connor, his kill co-worker, gets video from Stan's murder, and the killer is holding up an edge beveler. It's the fucking edge beveler that he stole while he was saying weird shit in Lachland's leather shop. So now we know Abe. He's the sff he's the bad guy. Um so this nurse who's at the hospital where Ethel was murdered, she's like, Who's who's Steve? Like, Steve was the guy that was in here taking her temperature or whatever. They're like, or no, he was what what did they the guy that I think showed a picture or something?

SPEAKER_02 41:48

She's like, No, no, no, that was that was Steve. Like, Steve from the temp agency or whatever. Could you imagine how that's how hospitals worked?

SPEAKER_01 41:58

Like, yeah, some guy was in here. I don't know, Steve. What do you mean? Administering droughts to an IV. He's five that guy.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

Yeah, Steve was here. Steve helped her. Like it's fine. And then now she's dead. And we're not gonna look into it because, like, why? People die in the hospital. It's fine. Bro, it is I'm gonna need a little bit more security up in this bitch, a little bit less making sure that I'm paying for parking, and a little bit more security for murderers, okay? Um, so they being Fionn and Lachlan, because Rose, Fionn, the whole crew is hanging out except for Rowan and Sloane. They make their way to Lark's apartment and her dog is laying on his side. And Lachlan tells him, You saved that fucking dog. And when you hear it, oh, he's like, I'm a doctor, I'm not a vet. And he's like, I don't give a fuck. You saved that fucking dog.

SPEAKER_01 42:48

Think falling, man. For Dr. K.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Falling.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

Yeah. Oh, he Anytime an animal gets hurt in a book, I'm immediately like. I'm choosing violence for the rest of my like for the rest of the book. I'm vibrating with rage.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

Yes. Like if people cancel authors for a lot of shit. I will cancel authors for the death of a like a death of a dog in a book. Yeah. Any animals. Stop it. You're done. You do it off page. Just be like, one time there was a dog and they died of old age very happily in their sleep, and I'll be like, it'll still hurt the same, but I'll be okay. We were pretty close, but like a bad guy. Why are you killing the dog, man? Just burn their house down and take the dog at the same time. You can hurt people in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

You don't have to hurt the dog. Like, come on. True. So Abe Midas, being the creepy incel weirdo fuck that he is, stabs his dog, and I hate him. And I hate him. And they end up going across the street and find some kind of like crazy obsessive. Yeah, his like highly hole. Yeah. So he has like notes and photos and dates and times, and there's like a scope on a tripod facing Lark's apartment. Uh, not the same. And your name in the Bible is. Abe Mead. So now we have corrected all of the dots here. It's hardly spread. There's a mouse on one of his ports.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

Who writes their name in a Bible? Are a lot of Bibles getting taken? Oh, are they?

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Oh, okay. Isn't there like the first correct me if I'm wrong? I don't own a Bible. But isn't like the first page when you open it, it's like there's a spot that says this Bible belongs to the R.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Oh. Oh, it's like a journal. Okay. No, I'm not sure. You're writing your name in them? Oh, okay. Well, that's rude. I have no idea of these things. So I was like, why is he writing his name on his body? Will you forget? Probably.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Anyways. Anyways. So there's a map on the board, and they're gonna head to where this map is directing them. So we get Lark's POV from here on. She is in a room. There's no lights. She's kind of coming back to reality because remember, this fucking psychopath drugged her and stabbed her dog. Um, so she's having like nom flashbacks to the night that she had to hide in a closet during a home invasion invasion as a child, which is the reason behind her fear of enclosed spaces. And also the night that her dad was killed. Yeah. So she's going through a little bit of a traumatic experience right now, but she does find a window in this room that she's in, and she looks outside, and there's fucking Abe. And he's standing at the light switch, flicking it on and off like a creepy bitch.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

Okay, so when you creep me out, this will piss me off.

SPEAKER_01 45:29

You're turning the big lights on? Yeah. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 45:32

What are we doing? The big lights are only for cooking. Every other time it is as dim as possible in here. My eyes are blue. I can't handle what's happening right now.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

Okay, so you think that's gonna piss you off? Wait till you find out she's in a fucking batch oven. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Okay, what exactly is a batch oven?

SPEAKER_01 45:51

It's like those giant, it's like walk-in oven where you can cook large batches of food. Batch, batch oven. So this is sick. This is like the most creative way to ever kill someone I have ever read in a book, ever, I'm pretty sure. Like, Bryn, Yesiko, I love you, but this is crazy. If I was locked in a batch oven and this fucker was quoting Bible quotes at me, I would literally just be like, turn it on, turn it on, let's take it over with.

SPEAKER_02 46:17

Like, oh my god. I think someone just died like this somewhat recently. But not obviously not with like a killer. Yeah, it was like an accident.

unknown 46:28

God.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

Um, so he's telling her, yeah, I've set a bomb on Rowan's car. There's a timer in the oven, and a timer to send out incriminating evidence that would point Lachlan as a suspect for multiple murders.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

Like, like, this guy is really bumming out the Kane family. Okay. He just spent a lot of time on his hands. Yeah. Like I get that we killed your brother, but like your brother was also killing people. He had He had a fucking dirt well hole.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

What are they doing? He killed Adam. A cellar. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

He killed Adam. He freaking chainsawed him. Adam, bro. Like, come on. Yes. Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth. We've already accomplished that. Why are we still grabbing eyes and teeth? We're done. For smoothies, bro. For smoothies. Oh, yeah, for smoothies.

SPEAKER_01 47:17

The ingredients are running out. True. Gotta keep that protein up. Lachlan shows up and he's there and he is told to pick one. Lark or Rowan. And this is so fucking Batman coded, again, with like Brain and Republic culture.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

Brain girl.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

When I read this, this was like immediately my brain went to Batman, so much so that I immediately thought of like when the Joker kidnaps Rachel and Harvey and places them in separate locations and it's like rigged with bombs, and he gives Batman and the police two addresses, but switches them, and the address given for Rachel actually leads to Harvey and like vice versa.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

This is and she was like, Oh my god, yeah, it 100% is because he tried to save Rachel, and the whole time she was like, It's okay, like save Harvey, blah, blah, blah. Which also happens on because Lark tells Lachlan to save Rowan.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

Yeah, she is completely accepting her death as she is slowly getting fucking rotisserie chickened in this batch oven. Yeah. Because it's on now. It's getting hot. This is my worst nightmare. Like a confined space and heat. Heat. I'm fucking Canadian. My god, the heat. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

Plus 18 today, and I'm like, okay, son, let's just chillax. Like this is a little bit too hot. And for anyone who doesn't know, that's like plus 16.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

It is not hot at all. We bumped in a tent in the States in late September, and everyone thought we were fucking insane. We're like, no, we're just Canadian.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

We're like, this is nice. This is good weather. Yeah. I could wear a t-shirt in this. Like it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

So it's us.

SPEAKER_01 49:06

Yeah. So Lurk is getting rotus range.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

Oh, yeah, she's getting cooked. She's getting busts in the door, and it's Rose. Yeah. I love her. I love her so much. Especially once we kind of realize that she was also Sibby. Then I really loved her. She is.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Yeah. There's a tie there. So she fucking busts in. She kills Abe. Thank God. And they manage to get Lark out of this oven.

SPEAKER_02 49:33

Because Rose doesn't fuck around. Like she is a good person to have at a jam. She will shoot a mother. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:40

That's the kind of person we need in our list.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

That's the person we need, we need a Rose. Okay. So if anybody out there is like super badass, we really need someone to help with the other. We are taking applications. Yeah. Yeah. Applications are open.

SPEAKER_01 49:51

Um, so after this whole mess with Abe, things are kind of back to normal, kind of. Lark gives Leander the contracts, but also like hands him a six-pack of beer. And they're like, cheersing to Lachlan getting to retire. And in true Lark fashion, she fucking drugs again. Why? He obviously likes it. He's probably just like a little freak and he's like, oh, Lark's coming over. Because he does have it my deer point because I'm getting drugged and shit my pants again.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

It's like Friday night, I got no plants. And yeah, 100%. Because why are you still accepting food and drink from this woman? Exactly. He likes it.

SPEAKER_01 50:35

Yeah, he's out. He's retired.

unknown 50:38

Woo!

SPEAKER_01 50:39

Also, another really nice thing to happen. Uh, Bentley was saved. Thank God. Or we collectively, as readers, would not be okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:46

Yeah, Bryn, I don't know, girl. I don't know if you'd be my number one true love if you had killed Bentley. You'd maybe be number two.

SPEAKER_01 50:54

So I think she'd still be number one true love.

unknown 50:57

She probably would.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

I'd just read Shadow and the Reaping again, and I'd be like, all is forgiven.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Everything's fine again. So Lachlan tells Lark that he got her something, but she has to figure it out. And he gives her like a cute little Constantine clue because it's her favorite movie and like Keanu's her favorite. And he pays attention because he is a man that pays attention to details, and we love that. So behind her trophy in the safe, Lachlan made her a resin craft from Dr. Campbell's Heart. I want this.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

That's so cute. Oh, okay. That's not all he has for her.

SPEAKER_01 51:29

He has pre-booked a honeymoon trip to Indonesia, and he's gotten her divorce papers. That's so nice. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

That's what every girl wants.

SPEAKER_01 51:40

Is a fucking gem of a man and he proposes to her so that they can start fresh and he gives her a choice to marry him this time. And she fucking rips those papers up. And she is pissed. Yes. Uh so that kind of like wraps it up. But they end up going on their honeymoon. They're at a beach hut honeymooning, and Lark is up to no good. She tells Lachlan to get in the shower. And she like fucking edge lords him in the shower and tells him she's gonna fuck him on their divorce papers. Oh my god. And she does. Mm-hmm. On the divorce papers.

SPEAKER_02 52:24

With a strap on.

unknown 52:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:28

I love dark romance books. And because I have been reading them for so long, and I'm just really used to my spice, like this book for me would be a three out of five. Okay. So for a lot of people, they would rate it a lot higher, but I rate my spice not on I rate it on how spicy it is, not how much spice there is throughout. Okay. And so I'm very used to reading spice. And sometimes I forget that it's in the books with a book like this, where there is so much plot compared to spice, you kind of forget and you kind of forget what good plot. Good plot. Like really good. And I recommended this book to a friend who loves serial killer thriller type books. And she got to the street part. And she sent me a strongly worded email. And every time that I read this part of the book, I just bust the gut laughing about it and laughing about her shock because this was just a casual Tuesday for me.

SPEAKER_01 53:31

So I recommend Brennbooks to everybody. And I do it because I'm like, this is such a fun story. And then you're right, I forget that it's like this.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

There's like cannibalism and strap on and come ice cream, man. Getting pegged with a strap on on divorce papers. And we've got some cotton candy coming up in the next one. Like it just, she really's a master of her craft, you know? Absolutely. I kind of love like giving this to people who don't who are not expecting it because it really blows their hair straight back. And I love being able to do that to them because that's my next gift. And that was Leather and Lark. Hell yeah, brother. Which, oh my god, I love it. I love it every time. I think it's been, I don't know what, five or six times now.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

560 times now, I think.

SPEAKER_02 54:24

Yeah, I st I still love it as much as the first time. So again, do not rob yourself the joy of reading or listening to this book because those narrators are incredibly. Chef's kiss. And I really hope that Butcher and Blackbird does like super well when it comes to the movies, because I would really love to see a Loch Link. I would really love for this one to become a movie as well. Because yeah, I was like, Well, I feel like you can't have one without the other three. Yeah, we need them all. And then, you know, we'll do Cape Carnage. And then, like, we just we just want like nine movies, okay? Like, we're not expensive or anything. Like, come on.

SPEAKER_01 55:08

I've got ten bucks to chip. How about we just make them? We can crowdfund it, and it'll just be you and I as every character, like in Austin Powers when he's every character?

SPEAKER_02 55:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 55:19

I just and you be every other character.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

Every other character. I just got a whole bunch of mustaches in the mail. Yeah. So I'm ready. Perfect. Like, I don't know if you've seen um some of our Instagram and just got pause play takes. But masters at our crafts. We've got some very interesting movies coming out, so stay tuned for those. Live laugh moral trash.